We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
