I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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