aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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