At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
