I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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