Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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