I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
