Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
