Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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