Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
