i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
