I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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