You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
