I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
