I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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