yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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