my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
