There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
