he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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