Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
