Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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