So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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