I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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