If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
