i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
