this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
