So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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