if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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