i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
