In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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