yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
