Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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