wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
