the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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