Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
