so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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