just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
