It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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