I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
