no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
