the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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