billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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