Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
