he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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