Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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