You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
