Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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