Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
