Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
