Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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