Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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